Hard to believe

The past few months, I've done a lot of challenging things. Standing watch over 2 critical reactors while powering 100,000 tons through the water, launching catapults and making power and electricity for the ship. Leading my division of 150+ people in the day-to-day operations of the propulsion plant. Standing watch on the bridge of the ship in order to requalify Officer of the Deck. Running the Officer training program for everyone earning their Warfare pins.

This week, in particular, has been an especially challenging one for everyone in my department. We had an inspection this week that dives into our programs, our logs, our watchstanding, we take exams, do oral interviews and so on. It was tough. It took a lot of time and effort; and at the end of it, most people were tired and exhausted.

After all of these, I did my most challenging and intimidating thing I've done so far this deployment this morning: I played a song on the piano for about 20 people in church this morning on the ship.

It didn't go well. I was nervous. I hadn't played on that keyboard before. I couldn't figure out how to cycle through the instrument settings. The first note I plucked out had horrible reverb and feedback. I didn't play an intro, so no one knew when to come in. The whole thing was awkward at best. The Chaplain asked me late last night if I'd be able to play this morning, and I whole-heartedly accepted; full knowing that I had watch in the propulsion plant from 0200-0700 and a meeting at 0900 before Church started at 0930.

It didn't go terribly well. But, quite honestly, I don't care.

I don't care in the sense that I'm not ashamed of it or embarrassed by it. I don't care in the sense that today won't stop me from playing next Sunday. I don't care in the sense that, like the picture above, Hank doesn't really care what Emma is playing. He's just happy to be there; with her.

I know next Sunday it will be much better. I know that with a week of practice, that with setting up the keyboard in the Chapel before the service, that with the Grace of God... it will be better.

- Matt