One Piece at a Time

Most people probably aren't as big of Johnny Cash fans as I am, but for those that are, remember that song "One Piece at a Time"? For those that don't, the gist is this guy works at a Cadillac factory his whole life and sneaks out one part at a time over the course of his career. By the time he retires, he has an entire car. Well, I'm not building a car, but I felt a little like that guy in the song today; I started bring on my things for deployment today. We have a little while before we leave, so I'm doing one duffel bag a day until we go. Today I brought on a smaller humidor, a box of cigars, liquid for the humidor, propane for my lighter, stationary, and a book that Amy made for me for last deployment. It's a bit of a science in what to bring. It has to be things that I won't use at home between now and deployment. Infrequent use at best. As deployment gets closer, the importance of the item, the frequency of its use goes up: abstract uniform parts, then gym clothes, then my keyboard and guitar and finally socks and deodorant. It's a pretty interesting mental exercise really...

Un-Nesting

I'm a list person. I have to use them. They keep me focused and keep my thoughts from "cluttering" up and feeling disorganized. I made a couple lists yesterday to help out for my week off:

 Pre-deployment is a process. A tough one too. We've done it enough times to know. Just like Amy had her list of things to do before Hank came to make sure we were ready for him, I try and do as much as I can to make sure the house and the Family are set for when I ship out. Nesting and "Un-Nesting". De-Nesting? I don't know...

As much pressure as she felt to make sure our house was spotless, every set of clothes, diaper, book, toy and wipe is in place, I try and make sure every light bulb is new, every battery is replaced, every gadget is fixed, every weed is pulled and all the finances are calculated.

But... after Hank was born, we found out that we needed to use Gentilease instead of regular formula. He grew out of his clothes quick. Just the same, I know things will break, light bulbs will burn out, air filters will need to be replaced and she'll have to make money decisions without me while I'm gone.

Planning for the known things that will happen during deployment is "easy"; it's the unknowns that scare me. We have a lot of support in place for the unknowns. It takes a village. I am not too proud nor too independent to ask for help to get through the unknowns. So, village, here's to the unknowns; may we get through them together.

-Matt

Family

Christmas is right around the corner, and Family has been on my mind a lot lately. We're going to be headed to my Sister's house over the coming weekend to see all our Family there and then having lots of Family come to our house over Christmas. And, with a deployment on the horizon, I'm looking forward to both SO much.

It got me thinking; when Amy and I got married almost ten years ago (next month!), I felt full. The love I had in my life felt full. But turns out, I wasn't. Our Family wasn't full yet. It wasn't even close! We still hadn't been introduced to Jackson Porter. To Emma Mae. And most recently, to Hank McKinley.

It is absolutely amazing how your heart, your life, will expand to hold as much love as you let in.

- Matt

Ace up my sleeve

This last underway I had a Sailor ask me "So, you've got an ace up your sleeve?"

I usually walk around with my coverall sleeves rolled up, so you can see my tattoos there, both Amy's and Jack's. Amy's is an Ace of Hearts with her name across it on the inside of my right arm and Jack's is symmetrical on my left as a Jack of Hearts. And so, yeah, I do have an ace up my sleeve.

One thought that's been on my mind a lot the last week or two is the confidence that she gives me.

The genuine love of a strong woman and her belief in her husband gives him the confidence that nothing else can.

- Matt

Ladies & Gentlemen

I've had a thought kicking around in my head since Church on Sunday; and that's being a Gentleman.

I put up this picture for two reasons: 1) I know Amy is ready to have this baby and is feeling every bit of this third trimester and should see a picture of her how I see her and 2) I love sharing fancy meals with Amy and this was a fun one at Paris in Las Vegas earlier this year.

During service this past Sunday, there was a group of kids that continued to get up and leave the sanctuary and come back in; probably four or five times. Now, if my 37-week pregnant wife can make it through the entire service without getting up to use the bathroom, I feel certain that a healthy, spry 15-year-old can too.

Well, after the third or fourth time, a Gentlemen in the church got up with them and politely, but under no uncertain terms, let them know that what they were doing is rude. It ended there.

Well, that got me thinking.

A lot of young people don't know what right looks like. Whether that's because their parent's don't correct them, or they don't have good role models; there are probably lots of contributing factors.

Quite likely, this doesn't describe my circle of friends. I think we surround our family with like-minded people that aren't afraid to correct their children and let them know what behavior is acceptable. Where I haven't been a gentleman, along with many other public bystanders, is with situations like the one I described in our Church on Sunday. It's a tough line to toe, not over-stepping another parent's role; but, still helping to keep societal norms. To allow everyone to be treated as Ladies and Gentlemen.

When I got back from my last deployment, Amy had a mantra that she felt I lived by made and framed on my dresser. I absolutely love it and it very closely describes how I try to live. It's titled "Rules of a Gentleman". Some of the lines are:

- A Gentleman is always presentable
- Opening the door for a lady in not optional
- A Gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out
- Anything worth having is worth working hard for
- Be gracious in manner, humble in tone, and thankful for what is given
- A Gentleman reads and reflects
- A Gentleman can drive a stick-shift
- A Gentleman knows the difference between courage and stupidity
- A Gentleman is observant, and takes action without delay
- To a lady, a Gentleman will readily offer both his coat and his hand

The world needs more Gentlemen. More importantly, your neighborhood, your home, needs you, needs me, to be a Gentleman.

Music & Motivation

I've started singing in the choir at church. It's been over 10 years since music was a constant part of life, and I didn't realize it, but I missed it. I sing in the car and to put the kids to sleep, but to be reading music, playing the piano, practicing chord progression... it's been a while. I'm rusty, but it's coming back pretty quickly. One of the aspects I've always appreciated about music is that you're always a student. It requires repetition. It's a forcing function that requires attention, skill and motivation.

Having forcing functions like that is a good thing.

Today I went on a run; what I call my Career Motivational Loop. I start off from the ship, run the length of the waterfront, loop back along the Admiral's houses, round off by the marina and finish along the water back to the ship. It ends up being about 5 miles and it's a great run. It's observing 45 years of life work from rising to Command of a ship to selection to Flag to retirement on a sailboat in 45 minutes during lunch.

Having forcing functions that cause us to be introspective, to consciously rededicate our efforts is a good thing.

Here's to more runs and more music.

- Matt

Anchors Aweigh!!

Luckily, the Navy vs. Air Force football game is still happening today. It's on CBS and gives me something to do while I'm on duty today onboard the GEORGE H. W. BUSH. With the government shutdown ongoing, it was one of those pawns being used to show the repercussions of Congressional indecision...

One of my favorite parts of any aired Navy game is seeing the opening segment of the Midshipmen pre-game march-on. We're all over the place. It's really cool to see the juxtaposition during the Army vs. Navy game. They take it much more seriously than we do. But, at the heart of it, I like seeing the Midshipmen's faces. After doing a tour as a Company Officer, I know that each one of those faces has an incredibly compelling story.

11 years ago, I was one of those stories as a Senior at USNA. At the time, I didn't know if I'd be allowed to graduate and earn a Commission due to breaking my back and the resulting ongoing condition because of it called degenerative disk disease. I was able to seen and treated by some great doctors at Bethesda that made it possible to graduate and move forward.

This week I was honored to be a part of a former shipmate's Commissioning ceremony onboard NICHOLAS. He asked me to send him a biography for the program, so I had to crank one out for the first time in a while:

"A native of Christiansburg, VA, LCDR Phillips graduated with merit from the United States Naval Academy in 2003 with a degree in Computer Science. After being selected to the Immediate Graduate Education Program (IGEP), he graduated with honors from the Naval Postgraduate School in 2004 with a Master’s in Computer Science.

His first assignment was as Communications Officer in CLEVELAND (LPD 7). While serving onboard he completed a deployment in support of IRAQI FREEDOM. Subsequently, he successfully completed the Navy’s nuclear training pipeline and served as Reactor Mechanical Division Officer in DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER (CVN 69) and completed a deployment in support of ENDURING FREEDOM.

Following his initial sea tours, he returned to serve as a Company Officer at the United States Naval Academy and taught Leadership and Seamanship & Navigation. After being selected as a distinguished graduate from Department Head School, LCDR Phillips served as Operations Officer in NICHOLAS (FFG 47), completing a Central American counter-narcotic deployment and interdicted over half a billion dollars of cocaine traffic.

Currently, LCDR Phillips is serving as the Chemistry and Radiological Assistant in GEORGE H. W. BUSH (CVN 77). His personal awards include the Navy Commendation Medal (two) and the Navy Achievement Medal (two). He and his wife Amy have two children, Jack (4) and Emma (3) and are expecting their third child later this year."

After writing it, I couldn't believe it's me. 11 years ago, that Senior at USNA couldn't have guessed that's where he'd be today. 

I'm excited for that newly Commissioned Ensign to see where he'll be in 11 years; where we'll both be in another 11 years.

- Matt